There are three rules that don’t apply to The Beachcomber in Cahoon Hollow.

The Beachcomber is Cape Cod’s only true oceanfront restaurant.

First, it’s okay to be that guy sporting the band’s t-shirt at the show. Wearing Beachcomber merch to The Beachcomber is not only acceptable, it’s encouraged. A badge of honor. A moniker of chill.

Second, social media is dead to The ‘Comber. It did happen – even without the real-time pics. I suspect that the lack of service is intentional. Put your cell phone away. This is Cape Cod’s only true oceanfront restaurant and I strongly suggest that you admire the panoramic scenery. Plus, The Travel Channel named it one of the “Sexiest Beach Bars in the World,” so if the Atlantic doesn’t do it for you, the people watching will.

The Beachcomber offers a rare and refreshing escape from cell phone service.

Third, we know your grandmother told you never to walk on the dunes, but by virtue of a grandfather clause, The Beachcomber has maintained its stake as a commercial entity in the dunes of Wellfleet. The structure itself was erected in 1897 as a Life Saving Service station. In 1953, it was outfitted with driftwood and converted into a nautical inn. The current owners purchased the property in 1978, but you won’t be able to pick them out of the crowd. They’ll be wearing flip flops and a ‘Comber tee shirt like everybody else.

The beachside bartenders have paid their dues, most having spent upwards of fifteen summers at The Beachcomber. They claim to have sold over three million Goombay Smashes, a signature rum drink made with a Myers’s float for that woody-molasses bite. Sip wisely. For a gentler dose of botanical refreshment, order a Dry Line Gin and tonic, infused with Eastern Red Cedar juniper berries from nearby Truro. All cocktails are served with straw-ternatives; the North Atlantic garbage patch is no joke.

Fried clam strips are also virtually a requirement at The Beachcomber.

Don’t skip the raw bar. Enjoy some Wellfleet oysters shucked by Big Daddy himself and choose from a wide array of mignonettes including jalapeno, cucumber, garlic, and shallot ginger. If you don’t love a viscous seabrine slurp on the half-shell, but you’re willing to give molluscs a go, try the Eastham mussels. Each deep blue capsule contains a fat little sponge soaked in butter with just a mild nod to the ocean. (Fried clam strips are also virtually a requirement.)

Break all the rules. There’s no such thing as a bad mood at The Beachcomber.

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